Playing Matchmaker
by Oceanmegami
Summary: Yuuki is a fangirl—a YAOI fangirl. And she will stop at nothing to turn her yaoi fantasies into reality! Who will her lucky “victims” be? Crack, OOC-ness, yaoi, incest, evilfangirl!Yuuki. -Kaname x Zero x Ichiru-
1. Prologue: The Pureblood Fangirl

**-Playing Matchmaker-**

~disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Knight…it belongs to Hino Matsuri-sama…

~random notes(?): This is my first VK fanfic…I've only been writing for Katekyo Hitman Reborn up until now, and I've decided that I'll try to give it a shot with VK as well. XD. I've only been converted to the VK yaoi fandom recently. [Never imagined the day I'd write a Kaname x Zero story would actually come, lol. I mean, I kinda hated Kaname 'cuz he used Zero…but that was before. XD]

~summary: Yuuki is a fangirl—a YAOI fangirl. And she will stop at nothing to turn her yaoi fantasies into reality! Who will her lucky "victims" be? [Please take note: this fanfic is set a year after the end of VK, albeit in an alternate ending wherein Kaname and Yuuki decides to stay at Cross Academy. AND Ichiru never died. XD]

~warnings: Crack, OOC-ness, yaoi, incest, evilfangirl!Yuuki…need I say [or type, rather] more? XD

* * *

**Prologue: The Pureblood Fangirl**

Yuuki let out a dejected sigh as she flopped open one of the numerous yaoi mangas that were adorning the bookshelves placed beside her large, elegant and expensive bed. Living in the Moon Dormitory took a lot of getting used to. What with the other vampires who always seem to be eager—rather, _too eager_—to help her with even the most mundane of tasks.

At first, she just let the other vampires do as they like. She thought a little pampering and doting wouldn't be so bad, plus, it was kind of funny that Hanabusa Aidou—who used to ignore her as if she doesn't exist—was now wagging his tail at her every whim, just like a puppy.

But that was before. Now she's just sick and tired of it all. For goodness' sake, she's not a kid! She's not exactly an old person, either, needing assistance in particularly _everything_. Sure, it was fun in the beginning, but now it was simply annoying…Wait, scratch that. It wasn't entirely _that_ annoying—at least not as annoying as the matter at hand.

Kuran Yuuki. A pureblood vampire hailing from the Kuran bloodline…and a yaoi fangirl. A deadly combination, one might say. Deadlier still, is the fact that she is bored. All too _terribly_ bored. Bored enough that she might get a little too tempted to use her powers to make the first male vampire she saw jump at another guy…

Yuuki's eyes suddenly took on an evil look at that thought. _Of course! Why hadn't she thought of that before?! The answer was right in her hands (literally) all along! Thank you, yaoi manga! Now she could get rid of her boredom and feed her fangirl-ism at the same time!_

An unholy laughter was now heard all throughout the Moon Dorms. The vampires, who were all sleeping at the time, woke up to the bone-chilling laughter of their pureblood princess. Though none of them dare venture into the rooms of Kuran Yuuki…lest they want to live to see another day (or night).

* * *

Yuuki was now formulating a plan in her mind. A plan so good, that she was quite sure that it would turn even the toughest of straight guys gay. _Oh, how beautiful this school is going to be: a yaoi heaven!_

But first she needs henchme—err, _allies_, to help her carry out her plans. It was easy enough, to say the least. Within the span of ten minutes, she was able to obtain two formidable allies: her best friend and co-fangirl, Sayori; and the up-for-anything Vice President of the Night Class, Ichijou Takuma. With that, the BL Squadron is complete. Now the only ones who are missing are the (unwilling) characters to take the stage.

* * *

Inside of his room, the vampire hunter Kiryuu Zero suppressed a shudder. He closed the windows, thinking that it was merely caused by the cold draft of wind. Unbeknownst to him, a not-so-familiar-fangirl is now plotting what appears to be his doom…

* * *

[Omake: Where it all began…]

Ten years ago…

Yuuki: -reading a yaoi manga-

Kaname: -enters the basement- Yuuki, may I know what you are reading?

Yuuki: -holds out a VERY graphic page to Kaname-

Kaname: …0.0 –wishes he never asked from the start-

Yuuki: you know onii-sama? You'll make a great seme. –Smiles angelically-

Kaname: …-faints-

* * *

~end of prologue

And so Yuuki's "mission" begins…-insert evil laughter-. Hope you guys will like it, even though it's gonna be 100 percent crack. XD. [I promise I'll write something serious after finishing this! XD] I know it is reeaaally short, but it's only the prologue. The next chapters will be longer…And, oh please tell me what you think! XD. Comments, suggestions and violent reactions are very much welcome! XD


	2. Chapter 1: Mission Start!

**-Playing Matchmaker-**

~disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Knight…it belongs to Hino Matsuri-sama…

~random notes(?): -drum rolls- And so, I've finally finished chapter 1! :D Sorry for the late update…(busy with other stories). XD. Anyway, thank you to those who were kind enough to review! I'll definitely try to fit in your suggestions into the story, but the main pairing will be Kaname x Zero x Ichiru. XD. Please, enjoy~! ;D

* * *

**Chapter 1: Mission Start!**

"Transmitter and receiver?"

"Check."

"Portable communication devices?"

"Check."

"Field guide, flashlight, lock picks and camera?"

"All is in order, Yuuki-sama." Takuma said as he and Sayori finished packing the 'necessary tools'.

"Hmm…" Yuuki seemed to be in deep thought as she pondered whether or not she has forgotten something important. Realization hit her and faced her comrades to ask, "How about the _Pocky_?"

"Oh, right! I almost forgot!" The blonde-haired vampire exclaimed as he rummaged through the backpacks in search of it, but failed miserably.

"Here it is." Sayori held out a plastic bag filled with ten packs of the said item. "You asked me to purchase some, remember?"

"Yori-chan! You're a real life-saver!" The vampire princess said as she enveloped her best friend in a hug; almost as if her life depended on it.

"Yuuki, may I ask what these are for?"

"Snacks, of course! Can't go hungry while we're under operation, right?" Yuuki then narrowed her eyes in suspicion at the other girl. "Unless you're planning something kinky, are you?"

"_Nnh—ah! Kuran…w-what are you doing..?!" Zero moaned._

"_Don't you know?" Kaname said; a predatory grin on his face. "There's more than one way to enjoy Pocky…"_

"Yuuki?" Sayori said as she waved her hand in front of her friend's face. Apparently, the latter had unintentionally entered into daydream mode. "Yuuki…your nose is bleeding…"

That last statement seemed to do the trick on snapping the brunette of out of her reverie. True enough, she was having a nosebleed…and a massive one, at that. Hurriedly, she fumbled through her coat's pocket to retrieve her handkerchief then proceeded to wiping the trail of blood on her face.

"My answer to your question is no, I'm not planning to do anything kinky with it." Sayori smirked. "But it seems as if you just found another use for it."

"No, I do not!" Yuuki tried to protest, but the smirk on Sayori's face won't go away. "Okay, fine! Maybe I do, but I'm not the only one who had thought so. Admit it."

"I never denied that I did from the start. I only said that I'm not _planning_ anything, but that doesn't mean that I haven't thought the same."

"Uhm, sorry to interrupt you, Yuuki-sama, Sayori-chan, but it's almost time…" Takuma said.

* * *

"Privates, take your positions. Just follow my instructions during our briefing, and as I give my signal, initiate action. I repeat, do not take action unless I have given my signal. The mission will now begin in five, four, three, two, one…" Just as Yuuki finished counting down to one, the gates of the Moon Dormitory had flung open. The students of the Night Class slowly made their way out, led by none other than Kuran Kaname. Of course, the Day Class fangirls—and a few guys, as well—were present as always; the said students were just the perfect cover they needed so as not to be noticed by their unsuspecting targets.

"Yuuki-sama, target A is now out of the building. He will be reaching the designated point in fifteen seconds' time." Takuma's voice reverberated on both Yuuki and Sayori's earpieces. "I'll be trying to buy some more time."

"Roger, that." Yuuki said in approval. "Private Sayori, how is it on your end?"

"Target B is now approaching…and fast. It seems like the Day Class girls are doing a pretty good job in annoying him, as usual."

Yuuki had to stifle a giggle at that. "Okay. Just remember: when I give the signal, initiate tactic number 05889. Show no mercy. I mean it. A split second can change everything."

"Affirmative."

"Yuuki-sama! I cannot stall target A for much longer!" Takuma's urgent voice crackled to life.

"Private Ichijou, stay where you are." Yuuki said in a calm voice. "I had foreseen this coming. Now we have to change from formation A to formation B."

* * *

"Onii-sama!!" Yuuki called out to her older brother whilst waving her hand; all the while a perfect, angelic smile was plastered on her face.

Kaname turned to look at her direction and gave her a warm smile. "Good evening, Yuuki."

As soon as the petite vampire was standing beside him, he asked, "What are you doing here so early? Didn't I tell you to wait until the class shift before you venture out of the Moon Dorms?"

"I just wanted to get a breath of fresh air." Yuuki said; a small pout on her lips. "Besides, old habits die hard, you know?"

The elder of the two just sighed and patted his younger sister's head. "Alright, I understand. Just tell me where you're going before you go out, okay?"

"Thank you, Onii-sama!" _Good, he doesn't suspect anything…_

Just then, an overly-familiar voice was heard. "Oi, you there! Cross the line, and you'll be as good as dead."

Suddenly, all of the Day Class girls froze in fear as they felt a dark and homicidal aura heading their way. Of course, the source of this aura was the infamous prefect Kiryuu Zero. As he approached, his silver hair was gently swept by the wind; his beautiful silver-amethyst eyes were in its usual glare; and his pale white skin which contrasted with his black uniform seemed to glow under the moonlight.

Despite of the fear brought about by the presence of the hunter, the Day Class girls couldn't help but be in a state of awe. They can't deny that his looks are quite on par with the Night Class. In truth, he had garnered quite a following the past year—not that they would ever admit it. Not to mention that the younger Kiryuu twin—Ichiru—seemed to be _guarding_ Zero from all who dare approach him (with the exception of Yuuki). Heck, and they thought that he was the _nicer_ twin. Guess what? He was even worse than his brother. One second he is all friendly and smiling, and on the next one, he becomes touch-him-and-I'll-bite-you-I-swear. Oh, the ironies of life…

* * *

Sayori's eyes lightened up with an eerie gleam as soon as she heard Yuuki's signal. The words of her friend repeated in her mind.

_Show no mercy._

Heh. Even if Yuuki didn't tell her that, she still wouldn't…After all, she _is _Wakaba Sayori…

* * *

As Zero turned his back from the avid fangirls, a piece of flying debris came towards him at an impossibly fast speed. It hit him squarely at the back of his head, making him lose his balance. He then came crashing down towards the ground and…

…landed right on top of Kaname.

Kaname blinked in surprise as the silver-haired hunter was suddenly sprawled on top of him. He could feel every nook and cranny of the hunter's body against his own, despite of the thick clothes they both wore; the light and crisp scent that is uniquely Zero's; and the slight weight he possessed despite of his height. It took the pureblood a long second before realizing that he had been _scrutinizing_ the young man on top of him instead of trying to do something about the highly awkward position they were in…not to mention that everyone present at the moment were staring wide-eyed at the scene before them…

It was Zero who broke the silence. His thoughts weren't very clear for a few seconds, courtesy of whatever had hit him on the head. But after his mind had cleared…well, let's just say all hell broke loose.

"WHAT THE HELL?!!!" Utterly mortified, the prefect hurriedly disentangled himself from the brunette and brushed off his clothes as if he got contaminated by a deadly disease just by the mere contact with the other. The bystanders just watched; very much amused at the sight of him being flustered. Zero sent all of them his infamous deathly glare—only this time around, it was practically tenfold as scary; what with the genocidal aura that he had began sending off in all directions in copious amounts.

Kaname was quite amused, too, but he hid it well under his usual mask of apathy. His gaze trailed after Zero as the said hunter stormed away back to the Sun Dorms. Who would have thought that the silver-haired vampire can be so…adorable?

Wait.

What?!

Zero. Adorable. These two words simply DO NOT and WILL NEVER fit together in his vocabulary! Yet here he was, thinking that…

The dark-haired vampire silently reprimanded himself for his…unusual train of thoughts. "I'm just probably tired from the recent activities…" he told himself, all the while making a mental note to later imbibe a dozen blood tablets, which will, hopefully, calm down his mind.

* * *

Yuuki hid a self-satisfied smirk as she watched the scene unfold in front of her eyes. _"Don't you worry, my dears…this is only the beginning; a prelude of that which has yet to come…"_

* * *

~end of chapter

And that's it for chapter one! Hope you guys liked it! ;D. BTW, I've changed the rating to M because I'm starting to feel that my perverted mind will make itself known in the upcoming chapters…XDD. Also, thank you to those who reviewed! I send you guys my love~! And if it's not too bothersome, please do review again! I'd love to hear what you guys think! :3

**Next chapter: "Strawberry-flavored"**


	3. Chapter 2: Strawberry Flavored

**-Playing Matchmaker-**

~disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Knight…it belongs to Hino Matsuri-sama…

~random notes(?): Kyaa~ thank you so much for the positive feedback! –gives y'all cookies- X3. I'm really, really glad that you guys liked it! :3. In this chapter, prepare yourselves for a dash of Kiryuucest (though mostly on Ichiru's part. XD) and for yet again misusing the seemingly innocent snack called pocky. XD. Really, I dunno when I've started associating pocky with…not-so-innocent stuff. XDD. Anyway, I hope you guys will like this chappie! Enjoy~! ;D

* * *

**Chapter 2: Strawberry-flavored**

"_Why the hell is this happening to me?!"_ The silver-haired vampire was definitely not in a good mood. Well, he almost never was in the first place, but this week had started to take its toll on him.

For some unexplainable reason, Zero always seemed to end up crossing paths with Kuran Kaname. He wouldn't have minded it, really, if it were just the usual, cold and inevitable meetings they'd both have, seeing as they do attend the same school. But this was very much different. Out of the ordinary, even.

Those said meetings have suddenly turned quite…'colorful'. And by 'colorful' he meant that he somehow kept on finding himself in more than one embarrassing situation after another with the pureblood vampire. And to think that the first time (aka the 'sprawled-on-top-of-Kaname-in-front-of-everyone' scenario) was embarrassing and mortifying enough…

Now that he thought about it, the terms 'embarrassing' and 'mortifying' are a huge understatement compared to what he had to endure the entire week. _A whole, fucking week…_

By now, the said hunter had been thoroughly convinced that lady luck definitely wasn't on his side; in fact, it seems to him that whoever was responsible for 'pre-destination' has a wicked sense of humor. _"What next?"_ He thought sarcastically, _"Kuran making an appearance in my room?"_

Zero froze at the implications of that thought. _"You have got to be kidding me."_

He did not just imagine that vampire inside of his room doing, well, things he would never even dare think about. _"No friggin' way!! Over my dead body!!!"_

In his musings, the prefect didn't realize that his pacing had brought him to the courtyard. He then settled himself underneath a tree and closed his eyes to clear his mind of the unpleasant thoughts he was having.

A few minutes later, he felt a familiar presence sit down beside him. Zero opened his eyes and found himself staring into the depths of a pair of silver-amethyst eyes identical to his. For a long second, he continued to stare at his twin; seemingly mesmerized by the fact that he was looking at his own living, breathing mirror image.

He was snapped out of his daze when he felt Ichiru poke a finger on his forehead. "Will you please stop staring at me? It seemed to me as if you had just seen a ghost or something."

"Sorry. I was just thinking…"

"About what?" The younger of the two inquired.

"Please don't ask _what_."

Ichiru frowned at his brother's words. Well, he wasn't annoyed for not telling him; he already knew what Zero was thinking, after all. What he was annoyed about was the fact that it was Kuran Kaname—of all people—preoccupying his brother's thoughts. Yes, he is jealous; all because Zero was giving a certain pureblood too much credit just by thinking about him.

Determined to rid his twin of all thoughts concerning the brunette vampire, he reached into his coat pocket and took out an item which will surely snap Zero out of his reverie.

True enough, the prefect seemed to perk up as he heard the familiar sound of his favorite snack's packaging scraping against fabric. "You brought pocky?"

Ichiru couldn't help but grin at the look on his twin's face. "Yep. _And_ Strawberry-flavored at that."

Zero's attention was now entirely on Ichiru. Unbeknownst to everyone (excluding Ichiru), strawberry-flavored pocky is a snack that he would definitely kill for. Heck, he didn't care how out of character it may seem (in other words, 'girly') or even if the entire world may hate him, as long as he could get his hands on some.

The younger twin hid a smirk as he saw the overly-eager look on his brother's eyes. _"This is going to be so much fun…"_

* * *

That night, instead of attending class, the pureblood Kaname wandered aimlessly around campus, trying to clear his mind of certain events. Obviously, these so-called 'certain events' are ones involving a silver-haired prefect and…the interesting…circumstances they seemed to end up in this past week.

Unlike Zero, he didn't find it that…unpleasant. He himself was surprised that he actually _liked _seeing the prefect flush right before his very eyes. In fact, it seemed to have made him realize about possibilities he would have never thought of before…

He then shook his head. _"Something is seriously wrong with me…"_

"Nnh…Ichiru! S-stop _teasing_ me…"

The brunette tensed as he recognized that familiar voice. After five years of knowing Zero, he could easily recognize his voice anywhere. But this time, his voice sounded so…different. It's as if he was _moaning_. Moaning _and _pleading. Kaname felt his cheeks burn as his mind was suddenly filled with a hundred different images of what could have made the silver-haired vampire sound like that—most of which were highly inappropriate.

And so—whilst carefully masking his presence—the dark-haired vampire decided to take a look to sate curiosity for its own sake.

Then he wished he hadn't.

* * *

"No, Zero." Ichiru's smirk widened. "You have to play by _my_ rules."

"F-fine." Zero pouted. _Ichiru seems to be enjoying this too much…_

The prefect lowered himself in front of his twin on all fours; all the while trying to grab the delicious stick of pocky which the other held in his hand. He was, however, unsuccessful since his twin would move his hand away every time he tried to claim it. _"If he's gonna be like this, then I'll just…"_

Ichiru's eyes widened as Zero stopped his efforts in trying to pry it away from his hands. Instead, the older Kiryuu twin parted his lips and trailed his tongue along the sides of the pocky stick. He felt his throat go dry as he watched Zero sensually lick the strawberry coating off the said snack before slowly biting down on it.

The silver-haired prefect was practically the picture of seduction as he did so. And the position he was in wasn't helping at all—his lean form down on all fours; his pale hair and skin flushed slightly beneath the moonlight; and his beautiful face in an expression of submission. The sight was so erotic to behold that Ichiru found it…ehem…_hard_ to control himself. (And of course, a certain brunette was also feeling the same from where he was hiding…)

The 'torture' seemed to last far longer than expected, since Zero was insistent on eating all of it in the same fashion. Ichiru almost let out a sigh of relief after his brother had finished the last stick—but that relief he felt had lasted only for a second. As soon as the prefect finished, he proceeded to licking—_very _slowly, mind you—his twin's fingers one by one; tasting, relishing, and lapping up the sweetness that remained there.

"_Oh, god…You have absolutely no idea what you do to me, Zero…"_ Ichiru bit his lip as he tried to suppress the moan threatening to escape his throat. A blush was now adorning his cheeks as he found himself thinking about…certain stuff…involving his brother. His blush deepened as said twin looked up at him with an expression akin to innocent confusion which made him feel dirtier for thinking such thoughts.

"I-I'll be heading back to the dorms now..." Ichiru then got up from the ground and brushed off his clothes. He hurriedly turned his back to his brother, towards the direction of the Sun Dorms. _I hope he didn't notice that…_

The younger of the two almost froze as he felt Zero tug at the hem of his pants. _Did he…?_

"Won't you stay a bit longer?" Zero asked, tilting his head to the side; looking very much vulnerable.

"N-no. I just remembered that I have to do something."

Ichiru relaxed as he felt the older twin let go of him. "Okay, then…Goodnight, Ichiru."

Without a second glance, he continued on his way, glad that Zero didn't sense anything…_unusual_.

* * *

Kaname went on his way back to his rooms, very much…disturbed…by what he felt as he saw Zero being far too tempting for his own good. He let out a sigh as he continued on walking down the path leading to the Moon Dormitory; intent on taking care of his little _problem_ before the other vampires return from their classes.

* * *

Unknown to the three young men, an evil pureblood princess had been watching from afar. _"Now that was very interesting…"_

Very much amused by this turn of events, Yuuki happily went back to her prefect duties; all the while thinking of various ways to exploit this certain development.

* * *

[ **Omake:** "Two Heads are Better than One" ]

Yuuki was right in the middle of doing her homework when Sayori and Takuma entered their 'hideout'.

Sayori settled herself right beside Yuuki, while Takuma sat at the chair across Yuuki.

Upon seeing that the vampire princess was in an exasperated mood, the good-natured noble spoke up; seemingly intent on helping her. "Yuuki-sama, they say that two heads are better than one."

Almost in perfect unison, both girls sitting across him looked up and stared at each other; repeating his words, "Two heads…are better than…one…"

"_K-Kaname…Ichi-ru…m-move…" Zero moaned as he pushed his hips downward; impaling himself even deeper._

_Both his twin and the pureblood let out a moan. The prefect's action had caused the two of them to rub against each other inside of the former's tight entrance. Unable to resist any longer, they started to rock their hips upwards; first in a slow pace, then eventually going faster as Zero began to thrust his own hips downwards—in unison to their motions._

_Minutes passed, and their thrusts became harder, more desperate; their climaxes now nearing. It was Zero who came first with a loud cry; causing his walls to clamp down firmly at the two inside of him…_

"You're right, Ichijou-sempai." Yuuki and Sayori said; an evil aura surrounded them despite of the angelic smiles they wore. "Two heads are _indeed_ better than one…"

* * *

~end of chapter

This is where it ends…for this chapter, of course. ;P. Hope you guys like it! XD. And, oh, the omake is...well, it somehow ended up there. XDD. I'll probably be writing a –coughs-threesome-coughs- for the fifth and last chapter…that is, if you guys want me to? XD

I seriously need to start writing the next chapter for my other VK story…it's been idle for almost a month now...XDD. My Muse has been very uncooperative; acting all tsundere whenever I decide to write something serious. XDD

BTW, this story is set after Vampire Knight Guilty, not the manga. I'm sorry if there are some who found it confusing. –my brain isn't always working properly- XD

Again, thank you for the reviews! And if it's not too bothersome, please tell me what you think! X3. I love hearing from you guys~! X3

**Next chapter: "A (Seemingly) Lunch Date"**


	4. Chapter 3: A Seemingly Lunch Date

**-Playing Matchmaker-**

~disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Knight…it belongs to Hino Matsuri-sama…

~random notes(?): First of all, thank you to my wonderful reviewers and to those who have added this story to their favorites/alerts. It really made my day. ^^ Also, another big thank you to those who have been following my works for both VK and KHR [even though I've been slacking off (and still am) in the former…XD;;]. You guys know who you are. ;D. And seeing the positive feedback regarding the threesome, I've decided to continue this story as such…although the lemon will have to wait till chapter 5. ;P .Okay, I won't keep you guys any longer…here's chapter 3; enjoy~! :D

* * *

**Chapter 3: A (Seemingly) Lunch Date**

Yuuki was practically bouncing with giddiness as she made her way towards the Headmaster's private living quarters. Today was a Saturday—which means no classes, no homework, no strict teachers and no prefect duties. But that wasn't the reason why she's so ecstatic today. Well, maybe it is partly because of that. But the main reason was that she has found something rather interesting to make this weekend bursting with fun. Mostly in her point of view, that is.

Earlier that day, Zero and Yuuki went to the town to go buy ingredients for their "indoor picnic" as Yuuki had put it.

"_Hey Zero, let's have duck for lunch!" The petite vampire said as she tried to shove a whole duck into the basket the other was carrying. "You could make duck with bamboo shoots and perhaps even some steamed lamb with mushroom sau--"_

"_No." Was the strict reply from the silver-haired vampire; trying to resist the urge to roll his eyes at his adoptive sister. "Jeez Yuuki, Chinese food is good, I agree to that. But if you keep on eating that stuff every single day, you'd definitely grow fat."_

_Zero ran his gaze over Yuuki before snorting, "In fact, one could tell that you have gained weight. And to think that it was just a few days…"_

_The brunette pouted at the other's words. "Well, sorry. It's not my fault that your cooking is incredibly good."_

_Zero laughed. "Was that supposed to be a compliment?"_

"_Take it any way you want." Her pout then turned into a smirk. "By the way, how come you never grow fat? Last time I checked, you don't eat any less than I do. Any dieting secrets?"_

"_I don't do diets." Zero shrugged. "Because unlike a certain girl I know, I choose what I eat."_

"_God, I didn't know you're more finicky than a girl when it comes to eating habits..." Yuuki rolled her eyes as she chose to ignore the insult thrown at her. She briefly ran her eyes along Zero's lithe form before murmuring, "At least it's no wonder why Oniisama and Ichiru-kun keeps on looking at you as if they would pounce on you any given second…"_

"_What was it you said again?" The silver-haired prefect asked as he turned to look at the other while holding a pack of what seems to be…pasta? "I didn't catch that last sentence…"_

"_Erm, I…I mean I was wondering what you'll be making?"_

"_Oh. I'll be making orange shrimp with fettuccine." He held up the pack as if to emphasize his words. "It's low-fat." He added, effectively silencing the petite vampire before she could protest._

_Instead, Yuuki began piling a stock of ingredients on Zero's arms whilst the other looked at her questioningly as she did so. "Quit gawking at me like that. Didn't I tell you that I invited Oniisama and Ichiru-kun as well?"_

"_You did what?!"_

Yuuki giggled as she remembered the expression on Zero's face. _"He was blushing like a school girl...although he didn't seem to be aware of it… Definitely an uke!"_

As she neared her destination, the alluring scent of baking made its way to her keen nose. Whilst she stopped for a second to relish the sweet fragrance, her stomach let out a low grumble. The petite girl blushed despite herself at her body's reaction. _"Seems like another reason for me to get going…"_

* * *

Zero let a small smile grace his lips as he popped the peach custard pie into the oven. Yuuki had been so insistent on having pastries, saying that "Pies and tarts are a must at 'picnics'!".

"I really should stop spoiling her." Zero sighed. "If I do, she'll keep on blaming me for every pound she gains…Despite of it being her fault in the first place…"

He lightly shook his head as he cast a glance at the table which was set with the china his co-prefect preferred. "And come to think of it, this seems to be more like a _tea party_…"

He briefly looked at the wall clock to check the time. It read 11:05 a.m. "Crap, less than thirty minutes to go and I haven't started with the fettuccine yet!" He then proceeded back to the counter, silently thankful that he had made the berry glacé pie and the fruit tarts beforehand.

As he began laying out the ingredients, the sound of two pairs of footsteps made its way to his sensitive ears. He paid them no heed whatsoever and continued on his task.

* * *

Kaname and Ichiru wordlessly exchanged glances as the two met on their way to the Headmaster's place. Apparently, the two had come to terms with their feelings towards a certain hot-headed prefect. Thus, a silent agreement has been formed between them; that is, to _share_.

As their feet led them towards the kitchen, they could not help but gape for awhile at the image presented before them: Zero. It was that there was something about the normally grumpy prefect that made him seem to fit right in with the current setting. Not to mention that the apron he wore accentuated his slim waist ever so beautifully, to the point that it's practically mouth-watering…

Their reverie was broken as soon as they heard Zero speak. "Oi, quit blocking the doorway. In case you haven't noticed, the two of you are too big to be ornamental."

A playful smirk made its way to Ichiru's lips at the older twin's words. He slowly made his way across the floor and wrapped his arms around Zero's slim waist. "Mmm, it smells good…"

"If you don't let go of me, it won't be soon." Zero said as he tried to pry away his brother's arms around him; only to have the latter tighten his hold on him even more.

"Not the food, silly. I mean _you_." The younger of the two then buried his face on the prefect's silver locks; inhaling the latter's scent.

"Ichiru…" Zero said warningly, all the while trying to suppress the blush that was threatening to appear on his face. Normally, he wouldn't have minded the contact at all, but the past few days, Ichiru had been acting…different. It seems as if his touches had started to have a different meaning to Zero…

A slight frown was present on Kaname's face; and as the younger twin turned to his direction to give him a self-satisfied smirk, the brunette sent him a faint scowl which seemed to say: _"I thought we had a deal?"_

Ichiru just sent the latter another smirk as he pressed his body nearer to Zero's as if telling the other, _"Ah, but that doesn't necessarily mean I can't do what I want…"_

Kaname rolled his eyes at the younger Kiryuu. _"Should've known that he's a greedy bastard…On second thought, maybe we could make the best out of this situation…"_

"Kiryuu-kun, there's no need to be frustrated with your brother." Kaname's velvety voice made itself known as the pureblood was suddenly standing to his right. "After all, you're the one who told us to do something other than to stare."

"What do you mea--?" The rest of Zero's words were cut off as the brunette started to nibble on his ear. He tried to keep himself from reacting, but an involuntary gasp escaped his lips as the other vampire flicked his tongue at his piercings and began sucking lightly at his earlobe.

Determined to best the other, Ichiru trailed one of his hands—while keeping his other arm securely around his brother's waist—down Zero's slender thighs until he ended up on the latter's well-sculpted ass which he gave a firm squeeze. He was then rewarded by a low, throaty moan.

Zero's mind was a flurry of mixed emotions. He was being _molested_—by his own brother and Kuran Kaname, no less! And yet here he was, seemingly enjoying it! _"No, no, no! I do not…!"_

His mind suddenly went blank as a certain pureblood found his neck to be more interesting to nibble at than his ear. Kaname's hot, wet tongue trailed along the expanse of soft, pale skin; his fangs brushing lightly against it. The situation wasn't alleviated one bit as Ichiru's hands continued to wander all over his body; whilst the former's hot breath tickled the back of his neck. The silver-haired prefect was now in a losing battle with the sensations he was now feeling—if his occasional gasps and moans weren't proof enough—and for a second he actually thought of giving in. That is, until he remembered something.

"_Yuuki! Oh God, what if she suddenly barged in?!"_ Almost immediately—to Zero's horror—he heard the front door of the house open. _"I have to do something!"_

"Ichiru…Kura—ahh…S-stop!" He tried to shove the two away from him, but was unsuccessful. Panic was starting to get the better of him as he heard footsteps approaching…

* * *

"Good afternoon, Zero!!!" Yuuki called out to her co-prefect as she swung the kitchen door open, almost too enthusiastically; said prefect just gave her a grunt in response.

The petite vampire blinked as she took in her surroundings. Zero was by the countertop, cooking the fettuccine; while Ichiru and Kaname were occupying two of the dining table's seats—a red mark which was curiously the shape of a hand present on both of their faces. It wouldn't take a genius (or a fangirl, for that matter) to figure out what happened, but she decided not to comment on it.

Yuuki inwardly groaned. _"Darn, looks like I missed the _show_…"_

Roughly a second after she had finished the thought, it was now her stomach's turn to groan; seeking immediate attention. All of the three young men turned their heads towards her direction and laughed—if not a bit strained on Zero's part. Yuuki just sent them a glare.

"Now, now, no need to get so worked up." Zero patted her head. "At least your stomach's being honest."

Just as Yuuki was about let out a rebuttal, a forkful of pasta was shoved into her mouth. "Zis ish so good!"

"Really? Now that's a relief to hear. I swear I almost over-cooked it."

"Eh? Why?"

Zero's cheeks visibly colored. "I-I was…_distracted_…"

"O-ho, reeeaallly? Now that's a first…" Yuuki said; barely concealing the teasing tone in her voice. "No matter. Let's just eat; I'm starving!"

Never in his life had Zero felt glad of Yuuki's voracious appetite. It had, after all, saved him from a dozen embarrassing questions he would never want to hear or answer…especially if the one who is asking questions is Yuuki…

* * *

Guys, I'm terribly sorry for the late update AND epic failures in this chapter…so please don't kill me! XD -grabs Zero- Zero help me! Use your UKE BEAM!!!!

http: // oceanmegami. deviantart. com/ art / In-your-coat-colored-123952103

O~kay, that was random. XDDD Goodness, even my notes are starting to feel the effects of my psychotic state of mind. XD Anyway! That drawing above was a little something I made [while I was procrastinating with this chapter, lol]. Hope ya like it. XD And oh, please tell me what you think [even though it was admittedly horrible. XDD]. See ya later, guys! :D

**Next Chapter: "Lace and Ribbons"**


	5. Chapter 4: Lace and Ribbons

**-Playing Matchmaker-**

~disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Knight…it belongs to Hino Matsuri-sama…

~random notes(?): Nyaa~ thank you so much for the wonderful, wonderful reviews! X3 They always make my day and inspire me to continue writing~:D And oh, right after this, there's a note below about my note on the previous chapter. XD You may skip it, if you want, 'cuz it's something purely random and isn't related to the story whatsoever. XD;;

~a **REALLY** random note(! XD): The weird logic behind the UKE BEAM-thingy: As you guys might have already known, I write for both the VK and KHR fandoms. There was this thing in the KHR fandom wherein they always associate Tsuna with having "moe rays". I thought _"Why couldn't Zero have the same, too?"_ but then it hit me that it wouldn't suit Zero that much, that's why I settled with him having an "uke beam" instead. LOL. XDDD

* * *

**Chapter 4: Lace and Ribbons**

Zero lay quietly on his bed; his silver locks splayed in a fan-like manner and his beautiful silver-amethyst eyes clouded by sheer contemplation. For four days he had been like this; four days he had kept on pondering to himself about the recent events that had happened. He had noticed for some time now that Kaname and Ichiru had been acting weirdly around him lately, but what happened that Saturday…

The silver-haired prefect let out a low groan as he buried his face into his pillow. Embarrassment made itself known in the form of the deep blush he was now sporting as he remembered _that_ again. Oh, god, what was wrong with him? He should feel disgusted by it, but here he was, blushing like some…some Day Class fangirl!

"_Great. I have now become like those annoying girls, fawning all over the Night Class!"_ Another groan made its way past his lips at the thought. He was now reduced to one of the things he _loathed_ the most in the world.

After giving much thought on the matter, even though he didn't want to, he reluctantly admitted to himself that maybe—just _maybe_—he might actually like those two the same way they were clearly showing towards him. But it still remains as that—a huge, capitalized and bold-faced **MAYBE**.

Just then, he heard a soft knock on his door along with the familiar voice of his adoptive sister calling out his name. "Zero? Do you have a moment to spare?"

Gingerly, the silver-haired vampire hoisted himself from the bed and fussed with his locks in an attempt to make himself look presentable. As he approached the door, though, he could feel that something is _terribly wrong_. But he just chose to ignore the nagging feeling he has and opened it to reveal a _very_ happy-looking Yuuki; her eyes gleaming with something which comes across as sinister.

Zero just gulped. _There is definitely something wrong..._

* * *

"Really?" Said a Day Class girl; surprise and bewilderment present on her voice.

"Yes." Said another, "I couldn't believe it myself either…"

"Ah, look! So it _is_ true!" A third one squealed.

Zero can feel his eyebrow twitch as he heard the "inaudible" whispers of the students and their gazes directed towards him. Really, now, just WHAT has he gotten himself into?!

"Kiryuu-kun…" A young man with black locks looked at him inquiringly. "Erm, are you all right..?"

"Ah, y-yes, I'm fine…" The prefect said as he was snapped back from his daze. "If that is all, I'll be going now…"

"And oh, Kiryuu-kun? Don't worry about it; _it looks good on you_!" Another boy said as he watched the silver-haired prefect leave; making the latter blush. Afterwards, a series of appreciative sighs and glances were heard (from girls and guys alike, but MOSTLY guys); making the prefect speed up his steps.

"YUUKI!!!!" Zero said hotly as soon as he spotted the petite vampire.

"Oh, Zero! Don't do that! It's so _un-lady-like_." Yuuki said with a playful smirk on her face.

The silver-amethyst eyed young man tried his best to glare at her, but a sudden shift of the wind reminded him sharply of his current predicament.

The pureblood princess watched amusedly as her adoptive brother tried to prevent the _skirt_ he was wearing from getting lifted by the wind, whilst his cheeks were painted with the most adorable shade of red. She then took this time to carefully admire her masterpiece: Zero was wearing a short, off-shoulder dress the shade of lilac adorned with frills and ribbons; a wide ribbon with a single scarlet rose was tied around his slender neck; atop his silver locks was a frilly, maid-like headband; and his skirt—yes, that skirt which barely reached halfway his milky thighs—revealed his long, beautiful legs which were covered by lacey stockings that were being held in place by garter straps.

Yuuki congratulated herself at this. The hunter looked good enough to eat. _"Looks like this will give that final push those three needed…at least before someone else _eats_ Zero before Oniisama and Ichiru does…"_

Zero shuddered as he heard a series of "Fufufus" emanated from Yuuki. The girl was evil—rather, _evil at its purest form_. The brunette may look harmless but the truth is, an unspeakable malice lurked beneath those big, innocent-looking eyes. It may be hard to believe, but it is a fact. How can someone who has the kink to dress up her supposedly adoptive brother in an _ero-loli_ outfit be NOT evil?! And worse—after practically forcing him into cross-dressing, she dragged him all the way from his room to the middle of the school grounds to be part of a "lolita café project" of the Day Class without his consent!

"Zero, Yuuki is right. It is unbecoming indeed." Ichiru said as he overheard their conversation. The younger Kiryuu was wearing an outfit similar to a butler's; the only difference is that a gothic touch was added to it.

The prefect just ignored his twin and turned to the brunette. "Yuuki, would you please explain as to why I'm wearing this…this thing? I mean, look at Ichiru! He's wearing _normal_ guy's clothing!" He said as he pointed at the latter.

"Hmm, true…" She tilted her head to the side. "But I don't think Ichiru-kun is uke-material; you are."

"What do you mea--?!" The rest of his words were cut off as Ichiru took hold of his waist and spun him around so that they are facing each other.

"This is what she meant…" Zero gasped as he felt Ichiru slide his hand underneath his skirt; his hand teased his thigh before it rested on his firm buttocks. Ichiru raised a delicate eyebrow as he felt the material the other was wearing beneath.

"Lace?" The incredulous expression on the younger twin's face turned into a smirk as he slid his fingers along the garter of the underwear and pulled at it—making the sound of garter slapping against skin to be heard in the air. He then leaned closer to Zero; his breath tickling the latter's ear. "My, I'd definitely want to see you wearing only those…Zero."

The silver-haired vampire's already visible blush darkened even more when he heard those highly suggestive words. He tried to push the other away, but the action caused him to lose his balance and resulted to him twisting his ankle. But as he was about to fall, a pair of strong arms caught him in just in time—it was Kaname.

"Zero, does it hurt?" The Kuran prince asked.

Zero blanched. Instead of being relieved, however, he felt his stomach sink. This is definitely not a coincidence! The timing was just too perfect…! _"Could it be that…?"_ He stole a glance at Yuuki and his suspicions were confirmed; an unholy grin was now adorning her lips as she watched the scene unfold in front of her.

"I'll be taking him to the infirmary." Before he could protest, he felt himself being hoisted up by Kaname, so that he was being carried by him—bridal style.

"I'll be coming with you." Ichiru said as he followed the older brunette—towards the school clinic…but the question is, are they?

* * *

[**Omake:** "Mirror, mirror"]

Takuma smiled as he looked at his own reflection on the mirror. The outfit he had recently ordered to be tailored had just arrived, and, well, it was quite evident that he was really pleased with it. He ran his hands along its length; marveling at how smooth the fabric is, and at how the filtered light seemingly made it shimmer.

He turned in front of the mirror once, enjoying how it brought out the emerald of his eyes and accentuated his slim body. He then reached out towards a pair of glasses on top of his dresser and put them on. He smiled again at himself, now that his ensemble is complete.

Just then, he heard the door of his room open, and a wide-eyed Senri stared at him. "Ichijou…what are you wearing?"

"Ehe, do you like it, Shiki?" The Vice-President said as he twirled and said in a cutesy voice, "It's a combination of the meganekko and maid fetishes~~"

No reply was heard from the other vampire; just the sound of the clicking sound of the door being locked…

* * *

~end of chapter

Whee~! Finally, an update! XD Sorry, guys, I was really busy…^^; Prelims are this week, so I'll probably update my other stories this coming weekend. (But I'm not too sure, since I'm also busy during the weekends XD;;) Until then, please bear with me. ^^;;

Anyway, I hope you guys like this chapter~:D As well as the added Shiki x Takuma at the end, LOL. XP (What can I say? Takuma is adorable! X3 Besides, I wasn't able to focus on him much in the other scenes involving him, so I wrote the omake to make up for it ^^;) BTW, next chapter is the long-awaited threesome lemon! Yay~XDD Again, please tell me what you think! Reviews are greatly appreciated~X3 See ya guys next chapter~;D

**Next chapter: "Indulging the Senses" **(Kinky title, no? XD *SHOT*)


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